Program Anxiety

I haven't been working in library very long. Just over 6 months in fact and although there are parts of my job I feel fairly comfortable with and confident that my response will be the right one, I am still struggling with nerves in regards to other responsibilities. The number one part of my job that is causing me stress is program planning.

Now for anyone familiar with current library philosophy you know that the library is no longer the temple of scholarship and silence it once was. In fact the library of today is downright noisy with singing from story time, questions from patrons about job searches and computers, and applause from lecture series. Part of my job is to provide the impetus for this noise in the form of programming. The nice thing is that a program can be almost anything and that my direct manager is all for trying new things. The point being that you never know what will work and will thus bring people to the library as a community center, but also that the worst you can do is fail.

And there's where I get caught- the possibility of failure. I really can think of nothing I fear more than the possibility of failure. I've done a few programs so far and most have been ok. At least one has been great (A Hunger Games Trivia Tournament). But my most recent one can be described as nothing but as failure, as no one came. Not one. single. person. It seemed like such a slam dunk too! It was Wii! For teens! I had chips and dip! Honestly, I would have gone, you know if it wasn't my program and further more deeply creepy for an adult woman to attend a library program aimed at teens. There were reasons the normal crowd of kids I get at my programs weren't there, including choir practice, first week back from spring break attributed lethargy, and a heavier than normal homework load,  but the fact remains not one kid played.

Now I feel shaky. I have another program this week that I know won't be popular (book spine poetry). I've questioned whether I should cancel or just do something like Wii, that I think will be more popular.  Maybe that's the smart thing to do. Truthfully, I've never been accused of being smart all the time, so I'm going to stick with my book spine poetry. In part because I think it will be so much fun to do, but further because although the library is a community  center, and a place for lectures, and games, and even the occasional game of Wii with some chips and dip on the side, at its core I do believe the library is still a place of scholarship and even more important than that a place where literacy and awareness of the larger world can be fostered. Even if my book spine poetry goes over like a lead balloon and if the book clubs for teens and college age students I'm thinking of starting have similar fate in the future, I'll keep trying the literacy based programs, because one is bound to work sometime. Until then I have trivia tournaments, Wii, and crafts to sustain me.